Jeff: I think it's harder when your T is a "blank slate". I actually didn't think there were too many Ts who followed that philosophy anymore. Not that it's wrong, but it's Freudian and I didn't think there were many strict "Freudian Ts" around these days. I may be wrong about this though. I'm no expert; I just get my information from reading.

No, my T is not a blank slate, and I do know some things about her and her family. Some I know from googling her and from looking on Facebook, though. I understand what you mean about hating secrets and being left out. If your T follows the "blank slate" philosophy, then she is NOT withholding information from you because she doesn't trust you, but because that's the way she does therapy.

My T is adamant about not discussing her husband, though, and that makes me angry at times. She used to say "I'm going on a vacation" and I would ask if she meant her H too. She said "yes" but it was like pulling teeth. It seems more weird not to just say "my H and I are going on vacation so I won't be here such and such weeks." I do have issues about the way it seems like he doesn't exist but I know he does.

I don't do well with the blank slate theory because it would make me wonder about my T, and I'd search for more information than I already have. I'm not sure if knowing about her makes me less or more attached. We share an interest in art and photography and she has her work on her office walls. Her website mentioned her hobbies and that she had children. We are the same religion. You'd think knowing some about her life would make the transference less, but maybe it makes it worse! I hate when she doesn't tell me something, though usually if I ask, and it's not too personal, she will answer me.

Again, it's not a matter of your T trusting you with information about herself. It's her therapeutic orientation. I hope this helps.