She will never be my friend because I need her to be my therapist. The therapeutic relationship I have with her goes deeper than any friendship ever could and I will fight to preserve it, as would she. I once fantasied that I wanted to know all about her and her private life - that has changed as i realised I probably know her deeper and more inbtimately than I could as a friend, without needing to know anything else. She has given so much to me - her love, her commitment and her care - I don't need to know the facts of her life because i know I am wanted and special whoever else may be in her life - it has taken many years for me to get to that place - to know I am loved and she has space for me - that others in her life don't wipe me out. Infact, she practices from home, and I do actually know alot about her just from going there so often - it's like a second home to me!