I think guys and girls have a different approach when it comes to masturbation. I can't speak for all girls or guys, but when I am by myself it is like a speed run to finish. The same philosophy doesn't work on my wife. When I use my hand on her I had to learn how to build thing up until she finishes. It usually starts out by kissing, caresses, and touching her all over, and then tease a little by touching around there, so when I finally do she is craving it. Then to start out slow gradually and at this point I can tell by the way she moans and the tenseness in her body of when to go fast, slower, hard softer. At first she had to show me what she liked, and tell me more/less. I think it is definitely teachable. I think guys or at least I did started to heavy. It is what works for us, but not for her. Everyone is different and I think you just have to work a little and tell him how to do it and what feels good.