I can also relate to feeling you are ugly. I struggle with this a lot. I don't like myself and I have horrible self esteem. Sometimes I dont even want to look at myself in the mirror. I was teased a lot when I was little cause I was a little chubby, and I had fair skin, red hair and freckles. I never felt like I look good. My wife find me attractive, but I still don't like myself.

If it is any constellation, I think you are attractive. I hope one day we can look in the mirror and feel good abut ouselves.