I am so flipping tired of life.
I am tired of feeling all the dang time. I am tired of never being able to turn my mind off. i am tired of remembering things I would rather forget. i am tired of my mind saying, oh by the way we hid all these things from you before but guess what, here they are.
i am tired of feeling guilty all the time about things I want. I am tired of impulsiveness driving me to do things.
I am tired of being told all my life that I am nothing without someone else. I am tired of feeling worthless, good for nothing and just a horrible person.
I am tired of the things I have done. I don't know how to stop all this anymore and am just getting downright sick of it all.
I am tired of being tired. This never gets any better. No matter what I do, it just doesn't.
I am angry at myself. I am angry at those who have pushed me to this level of craziness. I wish I had more of a normal upbringing, but nooooooo. I had to have a dysfunctional to the Nth degree family, more than that really, evil is what they are/were. Some are gone now and I am happy about that. Then I feel bad cause I feel happy about that. GRRRR
Sorry for the length if this is long. I guess I just needed to vent away. I feel like spilling every horrid thing done to me and I have done to others. No one wants to hear it really, does it really matter.
  
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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"
"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)
"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding
"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)
"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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