For "bonding:" Trust, sincerity, openness. Tells me what they are feeling and listens to me when I am down. As a depressed person, someone who anticipates my need for a visit or a hug is a big bonus, understanding that I may need a visit even when I say I don't want one.

For "friendship:" Humor, easygoing, and, this is most important, NO fear of political correctness or expressing my dark humor.

This was a big factor with Michelle, we were completely sympatico in this regard... NEVER had to stop and think before speaking, and we both prided ourselves on our evil sense of humor. Because of that, I NEVER laugh harder then when I am with her doing something just absolutely incredibly silly.

That is important to be because humor is my biggest coping mechanism. As an example, I live in New Jersey not far from Manhattan so Sept 11 really hit me strongly. I believe I was very fortunate to have two friends at work, in addition to Michelle, with whom I could vent about the event using humor. To anyone outside of this circle it would have sounded like the most callous, uncaring statements, disrespectful and inappropriate. But they were important things to get off my chest, and having a friend with whom I could balance the deep sadness and express it in the way it comes naturally to me... someone who would understand that and participate... I believe was key for me getting through that event.

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--http://www.idexter.com