hi. I know where you are coming from. I used to be there. but life has gotten better. much better. I once welcomed death with open arms and just recently found myself shocked to be celebrating life for the first time ever in
45 years. don't quit before the miracle happens. for me it was finally giving in to meds and therapy. tried everything else. nothing got me to here.

I like to look at life through the balance scales in my signature. I strive to keep them in balance. I have my risk factors on one side, the things that get me down, and my resources, supports, on the other side. when our risk factors become too many, the scales are out of balance, we start thinking about death as a way out. we don't have the resources or coping skills on the other side to balance us out. so that's when you start looking at what those risk factors are and figuring out what resources you can put in place to help balance you out again. a therapist can be of great assistance in doing this. theyre trained in coping skills, can help you identify your strengths. but just tackle those risk factors one by one and pretty soon you will find yourself in a happier place.