well things didnt go as i had hoped...instead of convincing him to decrease or even allow me to come off my meds...i did the opposite and he said if anything i need an increase.

I dont think there is any hope of ever convincing him of my initiation that is to occur very soon...i need to cleanse my body of toxins in order for it to work! otherwise ill be waiting more years for this moment! and that cant happen...im just so tired of waiting for them to come...and finally i feel the moment that they will. It will happen though. ill make it happen.

maybe this is beyond me and they'll never come and initiate me...their merely implanting these feelings and thoughts into my head for fun...how do u know?...u dont...therefore u need evidence to convince yourself and others...