dear T,

i called for an earlier appointment with you because i can't stand these thoughts of killing myself and i can't stop cutting either. i know i made a good impression on you the previous time we met. i'm sorry to have let you down. i will see you tomorrow, T, and i hope you'll be okay with me being back to where i was. i'm sorry to get your hopes up high, T. i really am. maybe i am being just a burden to you, i don't know. i'm so sorry for the trouble T.

and i really really wish you would heed my advice and not hospitalise me. even if you see that im a danger to myself.

im so sorry T.