How does one know what causes yourself to become depressed. I hear the chemical imbalance theory and it half way makes sense. Insufficent amounts of serotonine, dopamine, norepinephrine can make you feel depressed. I also think depression is something that is learned in a way. I don't mean someone teaches you how to be depressed, vut I mean you lack coping skills, self esteem, self worth, social anxiety, fear of talking about your problems to people, perfectionism etc.

Do you ever identifiy the cause of depression at some point in the healing process? I can remember feeling sad sometimes for no reason, but I also have other issues that contribute. I have a difficult time trusting people and talking about what is bothering me. I also lack self esteem and I often feel like I am a failure and worthless. Maybe that stems from depression, or maybe it comes from past experiences and it feeds my depression. I'm not sure which. I especially have a hard time accepting failure and I am overcritical of myself. I hate myself a lot when I make a mistake. I also don't deal with critism very well. When I am critised I feel like I am a complelty awful person and no one likes me. I know that is a self created delusion, but I am not sure how to deal with it. I also have fears of people abandoning me. I think that is why I don't like to get close to people. It seams like everyone in my life gives up on me and I hate that. Maybe I push them away or maybe I just isolate myself and they quit caring. I don't know.

I know these are issues that will come out in therapy for me. I'm just feeling really low at the moment and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I was feeling mostly normal over the weekend, but when Monday came around my mood tanked.