Something my mom said AND the "how do mothers do it" thread sparked this question:

Did the fact that I never played with dolls cause me to be (severely) lacking regarding my nurturing instinct?

I mean I love my daughter, you guys know this, but I find it much easier to be the mommy that goes to work and brings home the bacon than being the mommy who can nurture and care fulltime.

Remember when I was unemployed? 3 months in and was over being proud of wearing the mommy costume, it drove me nuts I find that although I love and care deeply, I have to make a conscious decision / effort to be nurturing. It has definitly gotten easier, and I've gotten better at it, I mean I've had 9 yrs to practice, but mahn do I remember being traumatized that I had to care for someone else fulltime

If any of you suffer the same "defect" did you also not play with dolls?
I was much more interested in cars, trucks, water pistols, lego and puzzles as a child myself...

My current tantrum you ask?
I'm tired of being a grown up! Childish I know...
I wanna quit my job and just do nothing be responsible for nothing and just be... I dont want to worry about bills and school fees and work and sickness and finding a place of my own... I just want to be.

I am so tempted to just not go to work tomorrow, not call in at all. Would be so easy to get fired, idk if its mostly the "I dont want to" tantrum or the reality that on some level I know I can't deal with any of this shyt right now

I only know I'm overloaded when I start unravelling at the seams, so I don't even know if I'm really taking strain right now or not
All I know is I'm tired and so over it all, but not particularly depressed or anything...

btw as a side note, bf and I are patching things up, so he's not stressing me out (atm) that is...

End rant I guess?