Oh, I am sorry you are so challenged like this, it certainly wasn't something you expected to happen, it just happened.

Well, he is ten years older than you, and it sounds like he has some maturity going for him, which is always a nice thing to find when entering into a relationship. While I understand you are very "mature" for your age and very responsible, you "will" still be growing alot in the next few years, going to college and having more freedom etc.
You are actually just beginning to really "find yourself" and you "do" need time to do that too. And it is important that "you" go through the motions where you get educated but also have a chance to "self provide" too.

With him being older, he is closer to the age where he will be getting ready for a more commited relationship. It all depends if "he" has had a chance to "self provide" too. If he has and he has developed a sense of security knowing that he is capable, he will be mature enough to also be more of a partner.

Whenever we ask other people for their advice though, we always risk others handing out the "what ifs and negetives", unfortunately, people tend to consider "damage control", just a part of being "human".

What no one has seemed to think about here though, is what "could be positive" because if you are really a good match and you both are already connected with the group, that would be a big positive.

So in a way there is somewhat of an expectation from others that you both make sure you consider the "group" first. That doesn't set all that well with me tbh, because other people who are supposed to be friends, are asking you to consider their needs first in a way, when you should be learning to make sure you think about "what you need" and not fall into holding back because of other people constantly. And this guy that you like is showing that he is allowing others to "think for him and that he needs to be thinking of them first".

I don't think this is about "him being over you either", what it is showing though is that he isn't quite grown up enough yet to be able to be ok with what "he" wants.

My big concern is your age tbh, because even though you are so mature for you age, you are still going to continue to grow alot and you really should have some of the things I discussed achieved before you give yourself away to being commited to making someone else "happy". You would be in a much better place for a long term "healthy" relationship if you had a chance to really establish yourself as a person, and you are not "there" yet. And alot of women do make the mistake of getting very involved in a relationship and miss out on first establishing themselves and the next thing they know they are resenting their partner because that part of them is "missing" and they might be trapped in a marriage with children and doing for others before they got a chance to have time learning how to "do for and support and sustain themselves".

Other than this guy, what did or do you want to be for you? You are very organized, responsible, mature so where was your goal for yourself before this guy came around?

It is very important that you get a chance to fulfill that goal, and not give "you" up for some other person. And that "could" happen if you begin to get very involved with this guy. We as women are designed to want to reproduce and often without our even knowing it, can get caught in whole chemical thing called "love is blind".

So, before you allow yourself to get all upset, you do have some thinking to do. What did you want before this young man came into your life?

OE