Moonlitsky, thanks so much for doing this.

Something that comes up frequently on these pages is, well I didn't have it as bad as some other person, so... But part of that "equation" then should include, WHEN did it happen? Because the younger you were, the more lost you can be. On the other hand, the older you were, the more aware of your losses. So no one is a winner. Not really a question there.

Just wanted to thank you for the Winnicott quote. My t quotes him relatively frequently. I consider myself lucky that we have been able to work thru my compulsive asking my ts to marry me. Once we realized that the reason WHY I wanted him to marry me - "then everything would be alright" - was straight out of the past, out of my mother's crazy head, and not really anything to do with what a stud he is (?! - cuz sometimes he just looks like my pervy uncle Bob) - well, then things started progressing.

Oh wait - here's a question - sometimes I think that the laws against doctor-patient affairs are more to protect the doctor than the patient. I mean, that's who is really in danger. That's who can be convinced this is real by a patient who doesn't understand and therefore thinks the feelings are based in current reality, not transference. Ie can't the doctor be vulnerable to a crazy person? Or does that make the doctor a crazy person by definition?