Hi Everyone,

I feel like a hamster going round and round. I thought I had accepted that I have BP1. Yesterday a poster mentioned it was her birthday, how long she'd been dealing w/ BP and what all she's been through with meds. It scared the hell out of me. I thought "he'll I'm not trying to do that sh**. I began thinking abt how I was diagnosed and second guessing it. I went for a THIRD eval today and was told the same BP1. I'm a single parent have been for years so I'm naturally strong. A few things scare me.
1. The fear of hurting my family during an episode.
2. The fear of not being able to hold a decent job.
3. The fear of being bounced from med to med once one stops working.
How do you accept having a life changing condition?
I had a nice life before this. I've had to change so much to accommodate this condition. I feel like I just had another baby that I have to lug around everywhere I go. I didn't sign up for this crap. When I get mad now I get nervous, nervous that I might get too mad an have a BP moment. I'm moving near family soon and I'm afraid of hurting and stressing them out. I'm open to feedback....tips.