I know someone who is the same type of mom as you. She wants to be the working mom and hates when she has to be home. She had fits over needing to stay home for maternity leave. I was shocked she didn't just show up and sit at her desk....

So, I think you're a class of woman and not alone a tall. That was the whole point of equality for women, right? That not all moms can be Donna Reed.

I don't want to be grown up either. It hit me really hard when I was 25. I like had a mid-life crisis of some kind.... or... quarter life crisis maybe? I have been thinking abou tthat time. I ffeel like I lost the years between 19-25, although I remember things from them. And I have been thinking that's when I was having that major delusional episode during those years. I think somehow they are tied together. It was like one morning I woke up from being 18 and was 25. I had a series of panic attacks about it that lasted about 6 months, I remember.

I never really got in the hang of this "grown up" thing. I still feel stuck in some ways. I know I'm grown up, but I don't like it. I don't like working, I hate bills, I don't want to be the one that everyone relies on because I know I'm on the edge all the time. Yet here I am, lugging the load.... but I think that's normal. I remember my dad complaining about that,too. I guess maybe I got it from him....