Last night something just became so clear to me-- an understanding! Not sure what to do with it now--but at least I understand.

--- ***this may be triggering for some??-- not sure***


I've always been very uncomfortable and anxious when around someone that's been injured and/or sick. My anxiety took over so much that I wouldn't even know what to say or do--

My T. tries to encourage me NOT to dwell in the way past-- but I think this time it may have put a missing piece of the puzzle in place for me! I now understand how I was programmed to be anxious over injuries and illness.

As a child I'd be punished if I was injured as it made my mom have to assist one, without her getting great acknowledgement for it her hands would be so harsh and uncaring, hurting me more than the injury--- also I'd be ignored and chastized when I had the stomach flu, ear infections and strep throat. I felt shameful and unloveable and thought I was bad.

I had gestational diabetes,(I was 22 and way under weight) I didn't want anyone to know I had it-- felt like I was so bad. I hid when testing my blood-sugar levels, four times a day. I have thyroid disease and have to take meds the rest of my life-- feel so self-conscious if anyone sees me taking my medication.

---- Now I understand-- I'M NOT BAD for being sick or getting injured-- am I!! I've never thought anyone else was bad when they would be sick or injured, though I did get nervous--I just considered myself to be bad--

seems like such an easy thing to figure out-- why didn't I realize this years ago

Hope it's OK I shared this.....worry about putting myself "out there"...... haven't started a thread in a long time--- pushing the envelope!!-- yikes

Wish you all a good day and inner healing

mandy