Thanks for the replies! I'll check out the sites, it would be amazing if the solution is as easy as finding similar people, but I think that's one step ahead of me. I'm at a crossroads between rejecting or embracing it and I need to decide which first.

Thanks Harley, I agree with everything you say, I realise there is nothing inherently or morally wrong with the fetish, I guess I'd be more comfortable with a fetish of balloons or something because there is no 'shame' element to it - my fetish is fundamentally based upon shame and embarrassment and I can't help feeling this is a side effect to some trauma and I might be happier if I fixed it rather than indulge.

One of the relationships failed because it didn't turn her on and she'd want regular sex every time and this bored me and annoyed her that I was unhappy. The second one failed, she said, because just knowing that's what I like made her stop liking me.. which hopefully explains why I felt so low. The fear is what if 99% of women want a man to be dominant all the time.. how am I then supposed to find someone, can I only find a future partner through kink websites? It would be so much easier if I didn't have this fetish but I know I have to deal with it now, I'd really appreciate some ideas on what I should do next. (I'm being a quiz show host again)

a) I should reject the fetish and seek therapy to eradicate it (maybe hypnotherapy)
b) I should embrace it, carry on telling girlfriends (when the time is right) and hope that trial and error will put me with someone who enjoys it +use kink dating sites to help find someone
c) I should accept it but not embrace it; keeping it to myself and pretending to girlfriends that I don't have it

Thanks again, this is making a world of difference for me and it's so great to be able to finally talk about it.