Hey, I know how it feels, being the other end of the stick of being the female with no male guy who wants to take my cock and be my b****, to be perfectly frank.
You definitely shouldn't be ashamed, because you are not the only one with this fetish. But yes, it's going to be very hard to find a woman to dominate you, and it's even harder for me to find a man willing to be humiliated.
Try using the site fetlife.com They have an enormous section on newbies and they will have a lot of the answers you are looking for. You may also find women in your area who enjoy dominating men.