Hi everyone,

This is kind of embarrassing, but here's my question.

I'm a 30-year old female. I remained a virgin until I was 26, not out of moral or religious convictions, but out of a lack of interest. Since that time, I've had three partners (including my now ex-husband) and I found that none of them have actually satisfied me. I don't find sex to be as pleasurable as many others say it is. Toward the end of my marriage, I actually felt it to be somewhat of a violation, but that might've been due to my feelings toward X.

I have no problem achieving orgasm through masturbation, but that is also something I did not start doing until well into my 20s. I was just never motivated to explore my body sexually. No sexual drive or desire at all, and now that I am not seeing anyone, I have gone back to that. I don't have any desire to have intercourse with anyone and haven't masturbated in a while. I feel that I get along just fine without it and did for many years before becoming sexually active. So I guess my question is, is this normal? I have certain fetishes and fantasies that get me off, so I'm not completely incapable of it...but when it comes to having sex with someone, I am immediately turned off. Is this because of the partners I've chosen, or is this just something strange inside of me?

I was not abused or molested in any way, btw. I had a therapist ask if I were because apparently, this is a sign of that, but I have not been, for the sake of clarification.