So many things are going on I'm just going to start listing them. It help get it out...

My dad (that I hate) came home today at 12:30AM. He is doing sneaky things left and right. And is so secretive and suspicious. I don't know what's going on but it's just weird. He might me cheating on my mom... Then I remember that there is no way he picked up a girl haha. (Lightening the mood)
He bought 8 guns, a car safe, 3 regular safes, 6 acres of land, steel doors and window bars for his office, and $2,000 dollars worth of ammunition. What is he up to??

I'm so lonely. I haven't seen my friends since December. And I only see my new "friends" at school. (More like acquaintances)
I'm not in any sports or clubs right now. It's just homework and homework.

I am trying to be a famous singer but there is something wrong with my throat right now and it is really discouraging to hear myself sing so badly.

I am still having pains and memories from past rape and abuse. I can't seem to heal from that. It's just an open wound.

My parents fight CONSTANTLY!! I just want to live in my own house, or apartment, or shack for all I care. I just need out.

I keep having SI urges. And I keep wanting to drink. Or OD. Or jump off my roof. Or something. I keep getting strange and (usually) violent urges. I haven't caved in yet. But I will soon.

I'm behind in school and it is SOOOO STRESSFUL. All I can think about at school is how to end my life when I get home. But I obviously never have done it. They are just thoughts. Not planned actions

Nobody cares about me in my life. Nobody seems to want me here except those who use me.

My dad creeps me out. He touches my legs when he in near me. Or he purposely wrestles with me so he can touch me. He is transparent. I see what he is doing here... He is always trying to invite himself into my room.
I'm scared and can't do anything about it. (No options whatsoever)

I can't seem to convince myself that I am plenty skinny. I keep losing weight and sont actually need to. I just feel fat. And im getting close to 100lbs which will be underweight for me.

My dad wants me to go to a VERY scary and rough public school. And my mom wants to send me to a nice private school I like... But what my mom wants will never happen if my dad doesn't want it either.

I'm sad about the Boston bombing. It just breaks my heart. I can't talk about it...

There is SOOOOOOOOOO much more but I'm falling asleep...

SO PLEASE any advice will help