it is entirely understandable that you feel devastated, anyone in your position would. two weeks is not long. it can seem interminable when you are in pain, but healing is a gradual thing, isn't it, but it can happen if you allow yourself to believe that improvement in your situation is possible.

i'm not seeking to minimise your suffering in any way but you cannot change what has happened, so it's time to consider your options, which might include telling your doctor about your suicidal thoughts, counselling, a real heart to heart with your wife or opening up to a trusted friend...there are also forums here for people like you who are suffering to the point that they feel hopeless.try the thing that gives you even a glimmer of hope and take it from there.

very best wishes.