Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulfreak
Thanks to you both for your replies. I am falling apart. I know what you are saying h3rmit regarding if you died you would hurt someone else? Yes, punishment is a revenge…yet I feel I deserve to punish myself for not being any better after all this time…just still existing.
The way I'm thinking is that I'm living in unbearable pain. There are people I love and they love me…is it fair on me to just exist so that they don't have to suffer?
Does that make any sense to anyone? I don't want to be in this pain anymore, I don't want to feel like I'm merely existing and full of intense pain.
I dunno anymore…
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I know this feeling well. I'm there right now as a matter of fact. I finally decided going back to therapy would be a good thing and in the process have gotten a new support person that I can call and isn't connected to my therapist which I meet for the first time on this coming Monday. I don't have much advice. Just letting you know you aren't alone.