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Old Apr 17, 2013, 10:25 AM
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tigersassy tigersassy is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulfreak View Post
Thanks to you both for your replies. I am falling apart. I know what you are saying h3rmit regarding if you died you would hurt someone else? Yes, punishment is a revenge…yet I feel I deserve to punish myself for not being any better after all this time…just still existing.

The way I'm thinking is that I'm living in unbearable pain. There are people I love and they love me…is it fair on me to just exist so that they don't have to suffer?

Does that make any sense to anyone? I don't want to be in this pain anymore, I don't want to feel like I'm merely existing and full of intense pain.

I dunno anymore…
I know this feeling well. I'm there right now as a matter of fact. I finally decided going back to therapy would be a good thing and in the process have gotten a new support person that I can call and isn't connected to my therapist which I meet for the first time on this coming Monday. I don't have much advice. Just letting you know you aren't alone.
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PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


Hugs from:
beautifulfreak
Thanks for this!
beautifulfreak, Gr3tta