I was assigned most of my Pdocs and Ts too. My most recent T, who I've been with 5 years, I was referred to and just got lucky. I know what you mean about relying on your T too much. I want to talk to mine everyday. I don't, but I really want to. I want to be her first priority. I feel so selfish. I've talked to her about all this and she is very understanding. I just feel foolish, embarrassed, sad, angry,...you name it.