Good point, Sky. You know, now that I look back, I think I would have appreciated that too.

Guilt, however, took over for me, so to ask someone to give up something that is essentially my problem seemed, and still seems, so unfair. Then again, my b/f at the time drank only beer and I absolutely loathed beer (I was a whisky chick); wouldn't touch it, even when I had cravings. A picky drunk? (Weird, is all I can say about that!)

What I do know is that I did have a problem when my drink-of-choice was around. I never did get a handle over that and cannot be around too much alcohol, except maybe wine at family/special dinners. I can still be around beer drinkers (not in a bar, though), but they are just too annoying to be around when they start getting sh**-faced!

What I hope doesn't happen, is that your wife will end up becoming isolated because of the possibility of having to give up so much of her life-style and possibly close friendships (and she will have to give up, what will feel like ALOT, for awhile, at least). For me, most of my friends were either alcoholics or heavy drinkers. Even the work I did involved a ton of luncheons, cocktails parties and such. I couldn't handle it. All my bosses were drunks, too (another weird thing!)

Anyway, I guess it all comes down to how she handles recovery. If she wants you to drink, but then can't handle it (look for very, very subtle cues she sends out), then absolutely stop with her, because that will be the only way she will achieve and maintain sobriety. If she has embraced a 12-step program, at least give its counterpart as shot, too - you've suffered much as well! If you have kids, help them too, if you can, no matter what age they may be. The effects of addiction/alcoholism runs deep within a family's soul.

Then theres this aspect: taking her completely out of all situations where alcohol is present is, well, really hard to do in our society, don't you think? For me, I must limit the amount of time I spend in those situations and I have been (mostly) sober since '93. Gotta admit, slipped more than a few times, but never, ever close to what I came out of. There is nothing like a killer hang-over to remind you of why you quit in the first place...

Just don't let her get too isolated for too long, if you can. Hopefully, she does not have to fight a mental illness along with addiction, because it always makes the situation infinitely more complicated.

Altered State


Wow, aren't I the smarty pants... (private snub)