I've spoken with a career counselor...it just made me more depressed. I'm around like-minded people 95% of the time. Except for my parents and my neighbor occasionally, I don't even associate with non-musicians (I don't mean that in a condescending way, it's just a fact). I don't know if there really are any mentors...why mentor your competition anyway? I mean, unless you've monopolized a part of the market already so you don't see other people as a threat etc. I've tried joining clubs in what I want to do (mainly compose music) but it was horrible. I want to start a band...I've wanted to for 10 years, but I don't really have friends and writing music is too personal of a thing to do around people you've just met...that and the whole wanting to sing/play rhythm guitar and generally be the center of attention. But that's not my main expertise...I could get good at it quickly, but that works better with friends (who would be more patient) than with people I just met so I can't really put up flyers or anything to advertise wanting to start a band. And then composing music for wind ensembles and chamber ensembles etc....that's done mainly by commission and other than just blind luck, I really don't know how else it happens, IF it happens. And then there's playing professionally on my main instrument or on other instruments (I want to play in an early music ensemble for example)...auditions are nightmarish experiences on any level, but I don't know if I could handle auditions for professional (and hopefully paid—you'd be surprised how much musicians DO NOT get paid to play in ensembles) without a really good support system, which I don't really have. Also, I have some unidentified chronic pain problem which makes it more difficult to play professionally because I need to practice obviously and practicing (and playing) usually hurt or makes me hurt for a long time afterwards. I can deal with the pain, but I feel it puts me at a disadvantage. Although, I've been told that I can play at the professional level and even though I'm still improving my technique I apparently have the intangibles that are either unteachable or just really hard to teach. I really don't know what's doable and what isn't and I've never had any confidence...I originally went into composition because even though I wanted to play trumpet professionally I was told that I wasn't good enough...and now suddenly I am...it's all really confusing. I never feel like I'm qualified to teach lessons and I doubt I ever will be...I just don't know what to do anymore.