Hi, Green rain! Your mother sounds somewhat like mine. However, mine is even worse, given she's mentally ill. I've had to spend a lot of time in counseling to try to work through my issues with her, and on some level, I still want her approval, even though I know it's not going to happen!!

You might find counseling even more helpful. Plus there are plenty of books about mother-child relationships that I think you can locate fairly easily. I've heard that the mother-daughter relationship is the most problematic of all, and I believe it.

I assume your mother truly loves you and means well. Maybe you can hang onto that.