I have a rather important part to add, and I am not asking to be judged though I know some people do. I think in order to do this, I have to stop doing something that helps me for a while at least. I use cannabis to mellow out my symptoms and its become clear there are ways in which that can interfere. Apparently according to my denial letter it lists polysubstance and cannabis abuse and implies if I don't use any substance my symptoms wont be as bothersome as they are in remission.' So One idea I have is I quit for a while, that way it will probably disprove that it makes things worse...then maybe I can be approved for MMJ...I have no problem doing it all legitimately.

But then I wonder would MMJ be something that would disqualify one from being approved...or would it then not be an issue. Obviously it will take some effort on my part to try and even have it recommended.

Aside from that not sure it would help with changing the decision at all, that cannabis is legal to smoke for those over 21 so I could question that it's 'abuse' when it's legal.

I am just afraid of giving up what's helping me get through all the stress and bad ***** in my life and mind...feels like I am sentencing myself to another trip to the psych ward just because I have to prove the point I am worse without it.

I am just torn on what to do, I really need the SSI at least it seems the only viable option...but I also need proper relief from my symptoms its all so frustrating.

I cannot exactly deny the past polysubstance abuse.....but that is in the past, I don't really do that anymore. I smoke cannabis, drink a bit of alcohol here and there and smoke cigarettes. Not really looking to go out get hammered, eat some psychedelic mushrooms and take a couple adderalls.

I have also decided I am not showing my mom the denial letter, the last thing I need is her complicating the issue when I just want to know how to approach this process with that as I know I am not going to be getting SSI if it is determined my only problem is 'drug use'. So perhaps quitting the cannabis, and risking the psych ward due to overwhelming symptoms without enough relief is my best bet...and if I am wrong about all this I will find out.

Sorry for the long ramble post, its rather hard to talk about that sort of thing too much. Also though as far as I know I've only been treated for Depression, Anxiety and PTSD still waiting on a potential diagnoses of being on the autism spectrum, unless something else accounts for what appears as that. I have not been treated for any substance related issues aside from being taken off of medications that had bad effects.