Theres a saying here where I live and wirk....you cant help the unwilling. what that means is those with problems need to recognize they have a problem and then want to change that problem, then they need to want to get treatment, then they need to want to participate in treatment which in turn will help them to make the changes that they need to make in order to heal.

in other words there is nothing you can do for this person. only she and her treatment providers can help her to be the kind of person she wants to be, and only she and her treatment providers can make the changes that need to be changed.. but over all she has to recognize she has a problem and then want to get better for herself.

another thing....sometimes what we see as a problem in others is in fact not a problem for that other person...example I have a friend that is a man basher type person, is very cold where med are concerned, has depression and has tried suicide.. I thought what I was seeing was a problem but for her it wasnt. her attitude against men....she was a lesbian and didnt know it. she ended up in a bad relationship but relationships are two sided....both people in the relationship have to be committed to making it work other wise the relationship turns sour..they both were not right for each other..she didnt know she was a lesbian when she was with him and on his end of the relationship he could not understand her attitudes, lack of interest and such so he began drinking. the end result they broke up blaming each other instead of seeing that relationships have two people in them so theres two sides to what goes wrong in them. my friend felt he was the one that was wrong and such and he felt the problem was all her.

I could not help her and what I was seeing as a problem in her (her coldness and men bashing,) turned out to be my problem....I was uncomfortable with how she was. but i couldnt do anything for her.

as for the depression and suicide attempts...she was already in treatment for those things but like many people who have a mental illness was not telling her family and friends she was seeing a therapist and psychiatrist and was on medication. So again when I found out she was depressed and suicidal I was making it my problem with her and wanted to help her when there was no problem for me to help her with, because she was in treatment and not telling anyone. and it wasnt a problem with her because she felt she was doing everything she could do...she was in therapy and on meds.

my suggestion...as hard as it seems to you theres nothing you can do for your cousin/sis. other than be her cousins/sis..continue to do things you and she like to do together and leave the mental health issues/problems up to her and her treatment providers, or up to her until ....she....thinks theres a problem and ....she seeks out treatment. to do otherwise could put your relationship with her in jeopardy.