I was reminded just how powerful my addict is yesterday while reading a book. It goes to show how powerful he can still be after 16 months of a strong recovery program. He is still fighting and I must fight too.

I was sitting down reading an amazing book on the journey the father took through his sons addiction (Beautiful Boy) and I got to a part in the book where he spent an entire chapter discussing how meth effects the brain, side effects, how it is incredibly rare to recover from, and entirely bad things about meth. Instantly an overwhelming sense of craving grasped me. I wanted to use that drug, to try that drug, because in my mind, if it is that powerful to be that bad, it could give me a good high. I instantly stopped my thinking in its tracks realizing that it was not me but my addict thinking out loud. I put the book down and just kinda took the thoughts for what they were. It was my addict and he was trying to tempt me and he was also thinking out loud, which does not happen anymore. I "played the tape through" and remembered how bad it got and that it would only get worse, eventually leading to my death.

I share this today because it gave me a strong since of reassurance that I have this recovery and that I want to keep it. It was also a very strong reminder that though I am growing stronger in my recovery daily, so is my addiction so he can compete.