I want my boyfriend to hit me and he does.
I use a word when I want him to do it and he slaps me really hard around the face, and this carries on until I say enough, sometimes a few minutes other times longer.
I like feeling scared of him and the undpredictability of when he will slap me again
He hates doing it but I want it more and more.
I feel disgusting as I know there are women who are seriously being abused and can't get out of it so why the hell do I want it and crave it so much.

I have split up with him until I sort this out in my head as it is not fair on him.
He hates dong it but he loves me so much he would do anything for me.

It is not always a sexual thing. I just like him hurting me.
Please help me as I really want this relationship to work. He is an amazing man.