It's a dance and you are learning the moves. Sometimes we step on our partner's toes and sometimes our sweaty hands let go and we swing too far away.

When I get hurt, I try to rethink how to think of it so I don't take it so personally. If you are in school and get a quiz back and you have red marks of some wrong, you don't necessarily take it personally, the teacher isn't making a personal statement they don't like you (or even that you are "stupid" for getting so many wrong), it is just showing you you have not learned certain facts or skills yet (whether because you were out partying or because you were sick and what either of those mean to you getting their licks in there too) and you can decide to buckle down or ask for help or ignore it or think "I'm stupid, what's the use" or any number of other responses, based on your past or present or what you are thinking or feeling or everything all at once.

If I were you I would list the thoughts and feelings (much like you have here), get them out of your head where they're probably circling all around like harpies and then come up with some simple plans for moving forward. If you are confused, figure out what questions you could ask that might make things clearer for you. If you are sad, figure out what you could do to comfort yourself (I'm very into changing the bed/doing laundry, taking a hot shower, and crawling into bed for a nap or a good read :-)

Remember, the dance is not over yet. You're in the middle of learning. Start again. What do you know now? During the last movement you were too close. Fine. Start the music again and move a bit further back. Think of some things that you have been looking to T for and figure out ways to practice getting them for yourself; make a plan or two, a test or two of things to try to see if anything strikes you as good for you to add to your life. Take control more and only ask T for comments on, "How am I doing? Does this look okay to you?" instead of "What should I do?"