I have a chronic pain issue but am tired of discussing it, instead I want to say to no one in particular that I have devoted so much time and emotion to my ex girlfriend. She is an alcoholic. Doing pretty good off the booze now. I have been the only constant in her life for quite a long time now.
I have many issues of my own but put important things aside in order to help her and am not getting much out of it in return. Now that she seems to be much better she has no use for me and am alone in this friggin apartment all the time. I make efforts to talk to her on face book or call her up with no reply, until it comes time when no one is there for her.
She knows how to pull my strings and seems to have me wrapped around her... well any way when she needs something she will call me up and expect me to jump. If I don't she gets angry. I am trying to hang on to a relationship that is going nowhere, I know it and at the same time trying to be strong and be done with all of it.
As soon as the phone rings I throw all the hard work of saying no to her and grab the phone. I am a pretty smart guy but when it comes to love and my ex, I have no control. I can throw every thing out the window with just the sound of her voice, like a spell or curse I can not get away from my heart.
I spend so much time thinking about this that I am not getting real issues taken care of. I think I just wrote this to see it in writing with a hope that maybe telling you I may help me move on. we'll see if telling strangers about the issue can help make me stronger. Thanks for listening.

PS. I really like this website, I have been looking for a place to find all the issues in one place. All of you are wonderful, so many story's, not feeling quite so lonely any more.

Wordlessdevotion