Hey, you are ahead of me, I need medication (for major depression, ptsd and an extremely severe anxiety disorder)----and, when I was young the meds didn't exist, once they did, I too wanted to do it without---and didn't take meds till I was into my 30's----and it still took a while (and a few "experiments") to accept even though I am in the mental health field myself---and I could point to accomplishments sans meds---but I was so unable to manage close relationships. You are young! I know there are people who abuse medications and drugs---but that is also an illness, and not a character flaw. I think in this life, even when we recognize what we need, there is never an easy way out. Hugs to you.