Alanon helps some--have you tried meeting with them? they might have some tips
I'm an alcoholic, and we use people ... Pushing their buttons

Give here space for now. It really does take a year after someone has quit drinking for them to become functionally sober, And that means knowing how to relate socially with love ones without automatically manipulating them. In the meantime try to take care of yourself as best you can. Give yourself some tender loving care.
Check on her once in a while, but don't dote. Replenish your life, and welcome to PsychCentral!
Roadie