I can...I can feel it and I don't know how to stop it

My class reunion is coming up and they are posting pictures on Facebook of all the cool things they did way back when....and I was never there. I never went. Not on my class trips, no Junior Prom, no Senior Prom....nothing. They talk about me like I was their best bud and I don't know why. I was never in on any of it.

I don't know why I didn't ever go. Even though I was "friends" with a lot of these people we never really hung around together. When I was in Junior High my parents were strict and thought my friends were "too fast" so they never let me do anything. Consequently when I got old enough to start venturing out I stumbled onto a crowd that was less than desirable. Thus I became "too cool" for the in-crowd. Stupid!!

I've been out of school for a long time. I got away from the bad stuff also....long long ago. (actually ended up with a cop) What I don't understand is why this is bothering me now. All kinds of crap that was buried in the back of my head ages ago....stuff with my parents...stuff with just people in general....the direction my life took...is all making me feel very sad.

There is no one I can talk to that can help me understand. My parents are both gone. My brother and I are estranged.

I have a good life now. I don't know why this stuff even bothers me. It's a bunch of crap. I am an adult. I have grandchildren for crying out loud!! WTH??

But....I can feel if pulling me down. I need to address it somehow.