I'm so sorry this is going on for you! Welcome to PC, I am sorry I didn't see this post sooner. I do know that sometimes thoughts can completely overtake your mind and it is very easy to get lost in that. I don't have any tips or any answers, really (I wish I did, though) but I am hoping that someone else might be able to help? As far as the genter issues, there is a sex/gender issues forum here too where maybe some others might have some better answers; I have found that forum here very helpful too.