Hello wildflower! I'm not sure if I'm a rapid cycler. My mood swings got serious about a year ago, and I have spent more than half of the time since then heavily medicated, so I'm not sure if this is rapid cycling or possibly just a mixed episode. What I do know is that I usually cycle multiple times a week now. I have bipolar II. My mood states are shorter than yours, but I've been depressed most days for 2 years now I think, with hypomania in-between. My depressed states usually last longer and are very severe. It is possible that I was hypomanic for a year before my current depression.

"It seems my mood states last only two weeks to a month. I also believe i have experienced my first euphoric hypomania - as evidenced by a couple of rambling posts I put here. Now i feel the tendrils of depression grabbing at my feet. I'm trying to kick them away, to tell myself that i'm fine, I don't have a disorder, I'm just making this up for...what, attention? I don't want attention...etc etc."

These thoughts creep up on me too when the depression comes back. My inner voice is constantly talking **** about me, that I want attention, that I exaggerate, that I'm needy, and so on, until it just stops and I'm just depressed. At that point I usually do not have a lot of self-defeating thoughts any longer. I think that's how it is anyway, but today I feel good so maybe I'm wrong. I don't think I'm making anything up or convincing myself that I'm ill when I'm not. While I'm hypomanic I also sometimes become convinced there's no problem.

Have you tried anti-psychotics? Nothing really worked for me until I tried Zyprexa. Lamictal worked maybe a little, anti-depressives didn't work at all but one made me manic. It is possible to live with bipolar without medications, but when you cycle a lot it's difficult to think straight and afford yourself that break which you probably need. I started up on Zyprexa 2.5 mg recently and while I still cycle, I am a lot calmer and feel less distraught.