Thanks, Bluedove. Loving and wise words.

I talked to a couple of them. My mom wants me to give unconditional love to my dad. I told her that I've done everything I can to support him in this, but I can't give him love, because I don't love him. She seemed ok with that, but when I mentioned how great my boyfriend has been, she said, "I don't know what he sees in you."

Sigh. Then she told me that my dad had always loved me very much, but that it wasn't sexual. And I answered, "It was both!". At first, she denied it. Then she tried to change dates around to minimize the abuse. I calmly said that we were all going through a lot today, and that invalidating each other wasn't helpful. She stopped!

Honestly, most of the family is being surprisingly calm, considering their mixtures of rage AT my dad, and rage ON HIS BEHALF, in addition to pre-existing issues. (There's still a few people I'm really worried about, though.) We're all in agreement that it's time to put the past behind us and support him the best we can going forward.

The good news is that he's apparently in the jail infirmary now. They put him in there immediately, so they recognize how bad his health is, which is a good thing.