One of my coworkers really throws me off, I can't tell if he's being passive aggressive or what! He's helpful and is nice but at the same time he "jokes" around in a way that its hard to tell if he's being an *** or really just trying to be funny.......all I know is that I'm often uneasy and think I need to set a boundary.....ugh...I suck at setting boundries.....I really can't wait until June for my health insurance to kick in for therapy.....Ive come pretty far on my own I think but I need that push I think from a therapist....I just don't know how to act most of the time and how to react to people and handle certain situations its like I lost my social skills somewhere....its a big reason why all I really do is sit at home, don't go out, and push people away, I take things a certain way and then lash out in the wrong way...or I let things marinate inside my head and just get ran over ......I wanna go out and do things and not worry and be so freaking insecure that I fidget almost uncontrollabley......

Just the other day I went to get my eyebrows done and I couldn't help but grab a pen off the receptionists desk to click over and over and over and almost forgot to put it back, then I almost started pacing the waiting area....finally sat down and fidgeted with my hands and do the usual thing of biting and chewing on my lips and rolling my tongue around inside my mouth....I felt so ridiculous......