Quote:
Originally Posted by hmbfam
I've been sober for 2 years, and it was not until I was diagnosed bi polar 2 and put on meds that I can really see what a disaster I made my life. I lost all of our money not working and fighting two dui's, I now also see how wild my behavior was over the last 5 years. I had the perfect job and loved it, lots of money, now I have nothing and two kids I have to take care of. Here is the thing, when people get sober they look back and think of how much better it is now. I can't make sense of how I got manic from ssri's and ruined my life. My life is not better than it was, it's worse now from losing the job and all the money. I'm sane and my mood is fine, but I'm 40 and have ruined my future. I'm just living in misery. Sorry its a bumber, but it's true.
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You can see your past. Your future is yet to come, you have not ruined it---you have two kids to care for who need you sane and in a good space, you can do wonderful things for them by just being healthy and promoting their health...and by acknowledging what happened to you...don't forget you were ill, you were not able to see where you were for a long time---now you can. It hurts, but this is your time, your opportunity. hugs to you and the kids.