Im just going thru so many emotional ups and downs on a day to day basis is getting to me too much.I cant fuction that well around people at home or at work. I try to distance myself in order not to expose my persona around them.

I have at times thought about being self destructive just to deal with the pain I am enduring.I can put on a good face and do a good show for everyone ,but I am in so much pain inside it can be so unbearable I just want to let loose and get rid of it all.

Its a challange to have all of these things going on in your head and not want to just do something to make it all go away.Im not saying its not the best way to reslove my issues I am having ,but its sometimes the only thing that pops into my head to relieve this constant stuggle I have been dealing with.

I cant seem to get myself together.I at least called my therapist to tell him how I was doing today, so at least someone has to know whats going on inside me from time to time.Im too scared and to burden someone to drop my issues on a person I trust because they dont need to deal with my crap if they have there own issues to deal with themselves.

I dont think I should have to burden anybody anymore with my crap.I just have to manage to make it thru one day at a time and keep myself in check.I would be nice if I had someone to ask me how am I holding up If they know what kind on issues I am dealing with.

I have made it my personal priority to see and ask everyone how they are doing and how there day is going because I care about people that are experiencing lows and just need to talk to someone from time to time.Its difficult not to need support sometimes.I might not ask for it because I am to embarissed or ashamed to need it or I some stupid way feel I dont deserve it.