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Originally Posted by Aokigahara
I'm actually not sure if this has to do with ADD, but i was diagnosed when i was in 3rd grade, and i feel it could be a contributing factor. i can't seem to accomplish anything in life. normal things, too. i think maybe its because i can't seem to focus on any goal for longer than a day or so. i know i could write them down, but i'm lazy and there's something else that holds me back from doing things which might help. its like some sort of mental or emotional block. i say "emotional" because the feeling i get when i think about helping myself is negative. i don't know what's wrong with me. i know i'm smart and its not like i'm any less capable than anyone else. i was horrible at school, but if i'm interested in something, learning about it is no problem. i do sense that i'm not normal in terms of thought process, but its hard to explain. i don't mean that in either a good or bad way; just different. anyhow, it seems like i have everything i need to be successful, but despite that, i'm totally not and i think its more than just lack of motivation. at the same time, i don't think its due to being incapable. its like there's something blocking me from making any progress in life. i feel more like a spectator than an active participant. i want to feel involved, and i'm scared that the issue is too deeply a part of me to do anything about.
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This could totally be related to ADD. Completely misnamed, there is not a Deficit of Attention, in fact our attention can be extraordinary. ADD is really Inconsistent Attention. ADDer's have poor executive function because of low dopamine levels in the brain our short term memory is really poor, so later when we recall something there are often holes in the memory that we try to fill in, often wrong. People can accuse us of lying because we remember differently or not at all.
The ADD brain works extremely fast, but wears down quickly and by the end of the day it is hard to find the drive to do anything. Being called lazy is common and we end up believing it. ADD symptoms wreck the self esteem as the years go on. I did not get diagnosed until I was 43, about 4 years ago. It is incredible how much better I feel after learning what was throwing me off all those years. Adderall and a lot of reading have improved my symptoms a bunch.
If you were diagnosed with ADD as a child, it is highly likely that you still have it. ADD does not go away as often as people used to think. You should talk to your doctor about how you feel.