I've had a hard childhood, and difficult past all around. I know it's made me who I am today, and even though it's not something that I like to ever talk about, I feel proud of the person I am today and that I made it out alive.
I have a boyfriend and we've been in love for 7 years, we just recently started living together, and getting more serious than ever before. He's a social worker and I am very proud of him. Only he analysis me constantly. It's starting to make me feel as if I have something wrong with me, or that my past has messed me up far more than I thought it had.
He sees every personality flaw in me whether it be that I am too particular, unaffectionate, moody, I don't care about him the way a person with proper relationship skills would, I don't have sex with him as often as he's had in past relationships, because of the lack of affection he says he doesn't feel close to me, and that I am not as kind as other people are. I am trying my hardest to open myself more and be more comfortable with affection, I'm just not sure I'll ever be that "normal" someone that he'll be completely happy with. I feel as though there will always be something about me that needs changing.
I always thought I was meant to be alone from past relationship experiences.
Does anyone know whether there is a a proper way to be in a relationship? Am I supposed to let every ounce of affection in, am I supposed to not care whether dishes get done, or messes are left? If I were to get mad at something like that, is it ok for me to feel that way? Is there such thing as an invasion of personal space when you're in a relationship?