OK. I've just had a truly frightening experience. I've been fighting my pdoc on his bipolar diagnosis for months telling him I'm not manic, I'm just a person who doesn't sleep much who also happened to have a major depressive episode with hospitalization once a long time ago. But.... I was trying to sleep a little while ago when I started hearing voices. Actually really hearing voices talking to me in a creepy, threatening way. I've had non-frightening visual hallucinations before from recreational drugs, but this was awful. I thought it was a nightmare at first because I was pretty drowsy, but I was awake for sure. I wonder if it could be a side effect of the mood stabilizer I've been taking?

Anyway, I'm wide awake now and the voices are gone. I got so freaked out I even took two of the antipsychotics Pdoc gave me weeks ago to try and help me sleep but I refused to take then because I kept telling him "I'm not psychotic." Guess I was wrong.

Holy Crap. What is this? Anybody out there get auditory hallucinations when they are manic? And are they scary? It felt like a bad horror movie. I haven't slept more than 2 hours a night in the last two weeks and just when I was drifting off for the night (trying to be good and go to be early) I get these voices telling me horrible things.

I feel like a real scaredy cat and totally stupid for posting this, but this is a first for me. I think I'm awake for the rest of the night now. I sense a big fat "I told you so" coming from Pdoc next week, if I tell him. In my experience they tend to overreact to reports like this with words like "inpatient" and "just a few days"...but then, maybe I'M overreacting right now? Please someone tell me I am not crazy or at least that I am crazy in just the right way...because I just swore in answer to someone else's post that I was never doing the inpatient thing again, ever.

Just get me back to the brilliant ideas and super clean organized house of hypomania, please. Someone tell me this is ok!