Look everyone has really dark spots in their pasts. It doesn't matter your past or the person you where in the past. Who you choose to be right this second matters. Yes morn you losses but never let past f'ups destroy your opinion of yourself. You don't learn by guilt. Money, and things can't matter because they are things that fluctuate. Faith (whether in god(s) or humanity), family (depends) and self worth are really all we can count on.

It matters that you are trying especially to your children. As children may not enjoy growing up in poverty. As an adult to know your parent loves you unconditionally (we have to love unconditionally to accept ourselves) and they tried everything to be the best person / parent for you despite all their own issues is more than any person can for growing up. Focus on your kids, and yourself everything else changes with our moods and that we deal as it comes with the help of therapy.