I have bad OCD as well. You may want to post in the OCD forum. Feel free to message me anytime, and we can chat. I don't think you suddenly have gender dysphoria. Trust me, anxiety and OCD make the mind play tricks on you. I recite a mantra to myself: It's not reality--it's just my OCD. I kind of chant it with a peppy little melody to make it amusing and light. I convince myself of all sorts of things, or should I say my OCD does. Do you see a doctor or therapist for you OCD or take meds to control it?? I find those things help me. I find doing a lot of rational self-talk also helps. The big thing I have been told is to distract my mind from obsessing by getting it involved in some activity that will force it to focus on something else; don't reinforce the obsession by letting it obsess incessantly. I hope some of this is helpful to you. I know how draining and frustrating OCD can be. Sometimes I'd rather have my depression or my anxiety than have this damned OCD. It drives me mad. I can hear the desperation in your words--the angst you are feeling--and can really relate. I hope the obessions go away soon and you find some peace. Try some relaxation exercises; meditation or mindfulness; a warm bath or aromatherapy; a long walk or some music; guided imagery or progressive relaxation of your muscles--anything you find calming. All the best to you.