I'm sorry for all that you had to endure from this woman. I can't rely relate, since most of my family ignore me and half of the time I felt like a burden. I hope you don't take her being in your life anymore a bad thing. It sounds like she was very bad for you and I think in some ways you are better without her. Parental issues have a way of screwing us up beyond belief. I hope you realise it wasn't anything you did as a child that caused her to be that way. You deserved much better than that, and I hope you realise that now. Her letters where very hurtful and no mother should put thier child through that mental anguish. It is hard enough leaving home, but to feel guilty and someone else blaming you for thier emmotionak problems is just cruel. *hugs*