I'm sorry for what you had tongo through. It can be difficult to care about a parent and at the same time be hurt by what they did to you and how they hurt you on such an emotional level. While it sounds like you dont want your dad to go to prison, I hope you find resolution in that he is paying for his crime and he shouldn't have hurt you in the way he did. I hope you find inner peace and can be ok with all of this one day soon. Best wishes and take care of yourself.