Quote:
Originally Posted by hmbfam
I've been sober for 2 years, and it was not until I was diagnosed bi polar 2 and put on meds that I can really see what a disaster I made my life. I lost all of our money not working and fighting two dui's, I now also see how wild my behavior was over the last 5 years. I had the perfect job and loved it, lots of money, now I have nothing and two kids I have to take care of. Here is the thing, when people get sober they look back and think of how much better it is now. I can't make sense of how I got manic from ssri's and ruined my life. My life is not better than it was, it's worse now from losing the job and all the money. I'm sane and my mood is fine, but I'm 40 and have ruined my future. I'm just living in misery. Sorry its a bumber, but it's true.
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(((hmb))) I can relate.
I'm almost 40, and to be standing at this age, looking back at how bad I've messed up my life does not feel good, to say the least. I too used to be successful financially, kept the house and kids in order, but the past 5 years - knocked down over and over. Bad bad choices, hypo/maic mayhem choices. Dark depressions instead of taking care of business. Can't change it. Life sort of passed me by, ran me over. So today, I'm with you ... in misery. It's a beautiful day - I'm just down the coast from you - but I'm not getting out of bed today, I'm not well and need to rest, I won't be answering calls unless from my kids or my mom today. This is the best I can do today. My main job today is staying alive. Hope a day soon that you and I both will feel better.
