Quote:
Originally Posted by cka87
it's too scary and isolating. I don't know how to cope. I'm at the point of crying and hyperventilating in my car before work. and that's not me, I don't cry and generally "have my **** together" most days. wtf is wrong with me. I'm scared I can't go back to T bc if I gained weight she'll see that as a failure like I never had an ED. I KNOW that's sound absurd but I can't go back fatter I can't. how can I handle work tonight I'm freaking out. I feel like I'm failing as a human being. there's no one in real life I can call and vent to. I feel so freaking alone right now.
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But the idea that your T will think you look fatter is ALL eating disorder talking....it's not based in reality. And, eating disorders come,in all shapes and sizes...if your T knows anything about EDs, then she would know that you can be overweight and suffering from a lethal eating disorder. When I am feeling the way you are, I try and take a mental step back and ask myself where all of this extreme panic and anxiety is coming from...remember, the eating disorder is distracting you from focusing on your true feelings.